18 Funny first lines of books PART #2

Here I am again to bring you the next installment of the funny first lines. And my comments too! So enjoy.
10) THE ABUNDANCE OF KATHERINES
Author: John Green
“The morning after noted child prodigy Colin Singleton graduated from high school and got dumped for the 19th time by a girl named Katherine, he took a bath. Colin had always preferred baths.”
[I think he had an OCD!]
11) PATIENT ZERO
Author: Jonathan Maberry
“When you have to kill the same terrorist twice in one week, then there’s either something wrong with your skills or something wrong with your world. And there’s nothing wrong with my skills.”
[And after reading the book I get to know they weren’t actually the same person but they were identical twins separated at birth and both grew up to become terrorists! What a story? I should write a book on this]
12) WAITING
Author: Ha Jin
“Every summer Lin Kong returned to Goose Village to divorce his wife, Shuyu.”
[Now I guess why this book’s name is Waiting because she’s waiting every summer for him to divorce her. Bad joke!]
13) SIDEWAYS STORIES FROM WAYSIDE SCHOOL
Author: Louis Sachar
“We’re going to tell you about three of the children in Mrs. Jewls’s class, on the thirtieth story of Wayside School. But before we get to them, there is something you ought to know. Wayside School was accidentally built sideways. It was supposed to be only one story high, with thirty classrooms all in a row. Instead, it is thirty stories high, with one classroom on each story. The builder said he was very sorry.”
[This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever read before. Okay I’ve read worst. But how can a builder build rhe building accidentally sidewards?? I’m wondering what made the writer think of a thing like this!]

14) THE DAY oF THE TRIFFIDS
Author: John Wyndham
“When a day that you happen to know is Wednesday starts off by sounding like Sunday, there is something seriously wrong somewhere.”
[Yeah I do happen to forget days sometimes and I mistake a Wednesday for a Sunday! That means there’s seriously something wrong with me?]
15) CHOKE
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
“If you’re going to read this, don’t bother.”
[Now what is he saying? I’m going to read this so obviously I’m going to bother. Or should I not read it? Again confused! ]

16) THE PRINCESS BRIDE
Author: William Goldman
“This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.”
[Yeah I too have a favorite pizza which I haven’t yet tasted :/ What a line]
17) MATILDA
Author: Roald Dahl
“It’s a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.”
[That’s true! I’ve not seen the ugly babies but I do have seen some not-so-cute types but then too their parents are busy clicking selfies with them and posting it on Facebook! God bless them.]
18) METAMORPHOSIS
Author: Franz Kafka
“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.”
[I pray to God to never ever put me in that situation. I mean you wake up and you find that you are an insect. Too gross to imagine!]
So these wers the funniest of all. And they do contain creativity though.
But I’ve not read their books so can’t say anything about their appropriateness. And any comment was not toward the book or ths author but towards the funny first lines and the situation!

-Vrushali

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Author: Vrushali

I'm a under grad student on the path to become an accountant but that doesn't stop me from loving books, art and writing among many other things. I blog about all of them and all things that make life worth living. Check out my

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