Hi! If you’re wondering why I returned to these weekend recap posts, I’ll tell you the truth.
But I’m going to be 100% honest and if you’re a fan of Instagram I advise you to please don’t read ahead. This is only my opinion and I’m sure you’ll have yours, different or same as me. I’ll not judge you if you don’t. And I’m not anti-Instagram-ist I’m just telling what I experienced.
I started this blog on 31 August 2015 and it has been a roller coaster ever since. I gained awesome friends to talk to, great articles to read and so much improvement in my writing and reading. And trust me when I say I’ve enjoyed every moment of blogging here. But for the past two months I neglected this blog and that to voluntarily. Because of Instagram.
And when I first saw the heaven of what I can describe as “beautiful pictures of books” I was suddenly attracted to all of it. I started clicking photos, thinking about the captions I’d give to certain images and the angles and lights in which images would look good. And then after like a month I got to 150 followers and I thought that was the best thing that happened to me. After half a month I started writing short pieces and posting them. Apparently I thought this would give a million followers like other accounts I stalked. I posted the drawings I made and before Instagram I thought I drew well enough, I was good enough but alas, Instagram reduced me the person who thought “Am I good enough?” again.
I grew to a 166 followers a few days back and I was the happiest! But then the next day I woke up and the followers shrunk back to a 160. I mean if you want to unfollow why follow in the first place?! I was upset the whole day keeping aside the fact that I’ve not been able to study properly because half the time I think of things that shouldn’t be thought while studying. Here’s a short excerpt from my brain…
Hmmm…I’ve got to solve this problem now. This brings me to what book should I read next? Ummm..The Lost Symbol..? But I don’t have any props that match the book cover.. then I should read another book… And yes that painting I made yesterday was good for Instagram if I found any good lighting it would be just great..
You see what went wrong. I’m sure you did. And I too did. And truth be told being a book lover doesn’t always mean that I know how to click beautiful of the books I own. I doesn’t mean I have to purchase things that go well with the book covers. I mean no harm to the people who love buying the bookish merch (even I do!) but sometimes not buying those holds you back in these kinds of platforms and I perfectly understand it. I believe it’s my bad luck that I couldn’t find joy in Instagram (though looking at the pictures gave me joy).
And so I’ve made an October resolution (if that’s a thing) that I would not live for followers. I was never that girl to care about the people who were reading what I was writing. Take this blog for example I never would have thought in dream, forget reality that I would get so many people reading what I write. And I became that person, if you know what I mean.
I became this different person who was…jealous of others who had more followers than me. I was mad at myself for not being good enough. Uggghh..I am sounding as such a bad person right now. I can’t believe I’m telling you all this.
But this had to be said. Because I don’t want any person to go through the things I did. From now on I’ll be myself.
Huh. It felt way better than I expected it would.
So after this honest confession I am linking the only post I did this week.
Signing off with the promise of returning back really soon with many posts.
Have a nice day!